Believing, For the First Time
by seditionary
Summary: Addendum request to ch. 16 of fic "Careless Man's Careful Daughter," written by nebula2. Spencer and OC Amber-Rossi's daughter-first time spending the night together. Sex; references to rape. See inside notes, and please check out the original story!


**A/N: Hello! Well, this is a big departure for me: writing het for Spencer, lol. Blame a certain Nebula2 for getting me to do it! She has written a lovely story, "Careless Man's Careful Daughter" featuring Spencer falling in love with her OC Amber Rossi (Dave's little girl), and she asked me to do the M-rated scene when Spencer and Amber first spend the night together. So, here it is (it corresponds with Chapter 16 of her story). Check it out and leave her some love!  
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**Thanks, Miss N, this was lots of fun to do! **

**Love,**

**Seds**

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><p>Spencer sat on the couch next to Amber, a tight feeling in his chest. He didn't like the look in her eyes or the tone in her voice-he could sense that, whatever it was that she was about to tell him, it wasn't going to be good. He braced himself, tried to prepare to give her a proper response, to draw on the knowledge he'd acquired in pursuit of his degree in psychology, but in a flash of panic, he realized-everything he'd learned was now completely beside the point.<p>

He was her boyfriend, not her counselor, and here, at this delicate moment just before possibly becoming lovers, she needed him to respond as her boyfriend, with love and care and understanding, not with words quoted line for line from a text book. And...

He didn't think he could do it.

"Spencer-are you listening?" Amber was staring uncertainly at him. "What I'm about to tell you isn't easy for me. I really need your full attention right now."

"I _am_ listening, Amber. I just... I'm sorry, please-go ahead." Spencer forced his brain to calm down and to do exactly that-to listen.

"Okay. Well... as I was saying, my step-father was..." Amber dropped her eyes. This was harder than she thought it would be, harder than it had been to tell her step-mother all those years ago. To this day she hadn't figured out what had made her go for the phone that night to dial her dad's number, who was miles away, then to run to he own mother who was in the same house. Maybe even in her distraught state she had been afraid her mother would side with the monster her step-father had become.

She took a deep breath and looked back at the young man sitting so pensively next to her. He clearly knew what was coming, and for a moment, she didn't think she could say the words, didn't think she could bear to see the way he would react. But, she had to, if she wanted the relationship to progress. He needed to know this about her, and she needed to be able to tell him-to tell this to him, this and everything else about herself. Somehow, as uncertain as she was about relationships-she knew that much was vital.

She picked up his hand and squeezed it between both of hers, to comfort him as well as herself. Then, she said simply, "When I was twelve, he raped me."

Even though he was prepared, Spencer felt as if someone had hit him in the gut. He pursed his lips for a moment, then said the only thing he could think of to say. "Oh, Amber. I'm so sorry. My God, I'm so, so sorry."

Amber looked into his large brown eyes. The concern she saw there-was it love?-touched her heart, and she felt the sting of hot tears in her eyes. Spencer slipped an arm around her shoulders and patted her cautiously; she threw her arms around his neck and then he hugged her more firmly and more surely than he could ever have imagined himself doing before. Suddenly, the words came easily. "It's okay... I've got you. It's okay, it's okay..."

Wrapped in his arms, Amber gave in and cried. It wasn't self-pity-she'd dispensed with that long ago-but, saying the words, hearing Spencer's warm, loving voice-it was as if a terrible burden had been lifted from her shoulders, leaving her with a feeling of lightness, of freedom. She pulled back and smiled past the tears. Spencer awkwardly swiped at them with the backs of his fingers.

"Oh, wow, I'm sorry. I wish Ethan and I were civilized enough to own a box of tissues..."

That made Amber laugh. "Oh, Spencer-it's ok! I... Listen, I _am _okay, really. I've had therapy, and... he's in jail. That's some comfort, knowing he's faced justice and won't be able to harm another child. But, it's been hard. My mom-she stuck by him for a long time, which drove a wedge between us. And... I haven't exactly found it easy to trust men." She smiled slightly. It wasn't that simple, and there was more she would like to tell him, but she couldn't find the words right now and she realized for now it was enough. It was out there. Spencer knew and he wasn't pulling away in disgust as she feared he would. "As I said, I haven't told anyone else. But, you're different. I do trust you. I know you'd never hurt me. And I... I want to be with you. You know... With the condoms, and all."

Spencer found himself smiling back at her, a look of wonder on his face. God, she made everything so easy. He gently brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes. "I want that too. But, I don't... I would never want to push you into something you weren't ready for, you know?" He glanced back at the package on his kitchen counter and bit his lip worriedly. "I really wasn't expecting anything to happen tonight. I just-"

"I know, I know-you wanted to be prepared. Smart."

"Yeah. That's me. Always so, so smart." He gave a sheepish laugh and took her hand. He sought her eyes and stared into them, searching them. "Amber, are you sure? Are you really sure you want to have this experience-with me?"

"Yes. I am. Absolutely." She leaned forward to give him a reassuring kiss. Spencer then leaned back and swallowed hard.

"I guess I should tell you that... Although I've done some research, I've never actually engaged in, you know... sexual intercourse, before," he confessed.

Amber raised an eyebrow and smiled. "'Research?'"

Spencer's eyes widened. "I mean, reading! There's a number of excellent texts out there that make the mechanics of sexual intercourse very easy to understand, and there's a marvelous book called 'Human Sexuality,' which is based on an interpersonal, psycho-social foundation, that does a very good job of outlining-" Amber put her finger on his lips, silencing him.

"Spencer-it's okay. I haven't... I mean, there hasn't been anyone else for me, either. Well, except for-"

"That doesn't count." Spencer spoke more firmly and assuredly than she'd ever heard him speak. He gently tilted her chin upward and his voice was softer. "You know it doesn't count, right?"

Amber nodded slowly and a wry smile crossed her face. "Yeah. I know." She leaned into him and they embraced. "I think we'll figure it out-together."

Spencer kissed her forehead. "Okay. So, do you want to..." He tipped his head toward his bedroom. "You know... See how it goes?"

"Yes." Amber nodded firmly. "Yes, that's exactly what I want." She leaned forward and pressed another soft kiss onto Spencer's lips. "I want that very, very much."

He nodded, feeling nervous-but excited. Knowing she had confidence in him, knowing she trusted him, made him feel as if he could do anything. He stood up and offered her his outstretched hands. She stood up and took them. Then, Spencer put one arm around her waist and began to lead her to his bedroom. Suddenly, Amber stopped in her tracks. Sure she had changed her mind, Spencer turned a concerned look toward her.

"What's wrong?"

Amber grinned. "Spencer-you forgot the condoms."

The worried look melted away, and Spencer hastily strode back to the kitchen. He returned with the fresh new box of condoms, put his arm around Amber again, and the two headed for his bedroom.

Amber cast a glance around Spencer's room. It was a typical single guy's bedroom, except that every surface was covered with books. Spencer saw her making her assessment, and he was deeply grateful that he'd taken the time to make the bed with fresh sheets and to clear away the pizza boxes and coffee cups that had managed to accumulate over the past few weeks. Even so, looking at it through her eyes, it was still rather unappealing.

"This isn't very romantic," he said apologetically.

"It's fine." Amber turned to him and put her arms around him. "All I care about tonight is you and me, together. So, don't worry, okay?"

"I'm just a little nervous, I guess."

Amber pulled back. "Me, too."

"You are?"

"Of course. But, I'm not afraid." She looked up into his eyes and they smiled at each other.

"Me, either," Spencer said, sounding a bit surprised. "It's just that I want this to be wonderful for you, and I'm afraid that my lack of experience and general ineptness, of which you are well aware, will lead to... disappointment. If not actual physical injuries." He gave her a worried look and she laughed.

"It's a risk I'm willing to take," she whispered. She tugged at his neck, bringing him down for a kiss. He pulled her closer and after a moment, all his worries seemed far away and he was only aware of her soft lips, her warm body pressed against him, and her hands as she caressed his back, then his face. She ran her fingertips downward, over his neck to his chest, sending a shiver of pleasure through him. Amber sighed happily.

"I want this to be wonderful for you, too, you know."

She looked up and Spencer kissed her. Then, he straightened, went to his bed and pulled the covers back. He turned on a bedside lamp then turned off the overhead light before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. Amber joined him.

They sat quietly for a moment, then Amber announced, "Well, I'm going to get undressed." She stood and pulled her t-shirt over her head. Under it, she wore a plain white bra and she heard Spencer take in a breath. She took off her shoes, then her jeans, and stood before him in her underwear. She held out her hand.

"Your turn, Spencer. Come here."

He stood; she loosened his tie and pulled it over his head. She then began unbuttoning his shirt, noting that he was intently watching her face. He took over the task and bent to kiss her. For a moment, things were going amazingly well.

Then, Spencer tried to remove his pants. The hem of Spencer's undershirt got stuck in the zipper. Awkwardly, Amber helped him get it free, but then he almost toppled over as he stood on one foot to pull his leg out. He encountered some resistance and give it a good yank, only to realize he had forgotten to take off his shoes. Now, his sneaker was jammed into the bottom of his left pants leg.

Amber helped him get it out.

Eventually, between the two of them, they managed to get Spencer undressed down to his boxer shorts, and they then stood there, looking at each other and panting from the exertion. Spencer took in Amber's slim, swimmer's body and he shook his head in admiration.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered.

Amber grinned ruefully, and regarded his tousled mop of curls and his skinny, angular frame with not a single trace of chest hair. "And, you... are adorable." She closed the space between them and kissed him. He pulled her to the bed and they crawled in, not letting go of one another for an instant. Once they were lying comfortably beside each other, Amber reached behind her and unhooked her bra. She gestured for Spencer to pull it away, and he did so, amazed at the sight of her full, pert breasts. Amber took his hand and placed it on herself; he squeezed gently, watching in fascination as the little pink nipple hardened under his palm.

"You know, you read about this sort of thing, but there's no substitute for the actual experience," he said excitedly. "Your, um, breasts are magnificent." He smiled shyly at her and Amber laughed.

"Oh, Spencer." She ran her fingers through his shaggy locks. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else right now. Kiss me. Please."

Spencer shifted so that he was almost on top of her. Amber slipped her tongue between his lips and the kiss quickly melted from a tentative touch to a deep, warm, wet exploration. He followed her lead, becoming more confident, more commanding, as he went. He couldn't get enough of her breasts-couldn't believe how firm they were, yet how soft, like nothing he'd ever experienced in his life. He was careful and gentle, and Amber put her hand on his and made him squeeze a bit more firmly.

"They won't break, you know."

He nodded, and, now knowing what she wanted, he touched her just as she wished. She gave a soft moan, then moved his hand lower. "Touch me."

Spencer slowly moved his hand over her flat tummy, down to the top of her panties. He held her gaze and she smiled encouragingly. He slipped his fingers between the silky fabric and her warm skin, moving them through a thatch of fine hairs, then lower still, to the warmth between her thighs.

"Just a second," Amber said. She raised her hips and pulled her panties down, and Spencer helped to slide them over her legs, and off.

"Oh, God," Spencer whispered. Staring at her, he felt amazed. He knew what naked a woman looked like, of course. But to have Amber, unclothed, smiling, moving next to him in his bed-it was almost too much. He felt his already alert erection spring to almost painful attention, straining against his shorts.

A situation which was not lost on Amber.

She laughed softly. "Come on, Spence. I'm not going to be the only one naked here, am I?"

"No." Spencer quickly took off his boxers and dropped them to the floor beside the bed. He pulled her to him, suddenly feeling at home with her in his arms. His erection was nudging into her belly, and she took it in her hand, marveling at the velvety flesh over what felt like solid steel.

"Wow. You're big," she said, suddenly feeling shy. She'd had plenty of sexual thoughts about Spencer, but this-seeing him, feeling his raw masculinity in her hand-was startling.

"Really?" Spencer sounded pleased. His observation of his own anatomy was that it compared favorably to most of the guys he'd seen in locker rooms and beside him at urinals, but if Amber thought he was superior, he wasn't going to correct her. He thought back to some of the reading he'd done. "Um... Would you like me to stimulate your clitoris now?"

"Huh?"

"My understanding is that, for a woman to fully enjoy sexual intercourse, the man should take the time to prepare her by, uh, rubbing her, you know... her clitoris." He cleared his throat. "Should I, uh... do that?"

"Um... Sure. Go ahead."

Spencer nodded, and, with Amber's help, found the organ in question and proceeded to do as the sex manuals suggested, gently rotating a finger around the area, varying the pressure until the female, well, Amber, indicated the action to be pleasing to her.

"Oh, Spencer," Amber moaned. "That's... that's incredible."

"It is?" Spencer had found manuals didn't always reflect reality, but in this case, they seemed to be fairly accurate.

"Yeah. Keep doing that."

"Okay." He continued, then progressed to the next step, which was to insert his long, slender finger inside her. Amber thrust her hips forward, meeting his hand, and, encouraged, he drew back and did it again. And... again.

"Spencer... please. I want you inside me."

"Okay." He turned from her and found the condoms. He took a foil wrapper and tore it open, then fumbled to apply it, cursing himself for not practicing. _Why hadn't he practiced? _Finally, he managed to get it rolled over his length, leaving room at the tip as the directions suggested. Feeling a bit foolish, he shifted to kneel between Amber's parted legs. He looked down at her-her hair dark against the pillow, her beautiful eyes shining in the dim light, filled with love and excitement and trust-and for a second, he felt like crying. He reached out and caressed her face. "You're sure? You're sure this is what you want?"

Amber nodded, and took his hand in hers. She pressed her lips into his palm. "Yes. Yes, Spencer. I want _you."_

Spencer maneuvered so that he was able to guide his member inside her. He went slowly, easing in, fearing he would hurt her or disgust her, or that terrible memories would grip her and make her recoil. But, her eyes never left his and she wriggled into position, making it easy to meet Spencer's first tentative thrusts, encouraging him with soft noises and welcoming words.

"That's it, baby. That feels good. It's okay-you can go faster, you're not hurting me."

Spencer nodded and pushed in more firmly. Suddenly, he was inside her to the hilt, his pubic bone firmly pressed against hers. He almost laughed.

"God! This is amazing! Nothing like the books at all..."

"Spencer, for heaven's sake, forget the books, and move!" Amber implored, laughing. "You feel amazing inside me. I want more..." She pulled him down for a kiss. "I want... everything."

Spencer pulled back and thrust again. Inside her body, it was warm and wet and snug, and he could feel her muscles tighten, gripping him in counterpoint to his movements back and forth. Soon, instinct took over his sensually overwhelmed brain, and they found a rhythm, deep and wet and joyous as they moved as one.

The depth of Spencer's penetration amazed Amber, and the way his member kept the friction against her clitoris constant built her excitement until it spilled over. Her moans mounted to cries, and at last, she shouted, "Spencer! Oh, God, yes... Yes, Spencer, yes..."

Spencer had been struggling to avoid early ejaculation ever since Amber had removed her panties, and the sound of her having an orgasm-an orgasm he had given her-put him over the edge.

"Amber! I-oh, my God..." Spencer groaned. He grunted, then gave a deep roar of release as his sperm shot out, filling the condom. It was a sweet, blinding moment, and pleasure flooded every synapse, every nerve in his body. "Oh... Amber," he rasped brokenly, as he rolled off of her and gathered her into his arms. "Are you all right? Was that... okay?"

Amber smiled and wiggled up to him so she could kiss him. "I'm fine. And, that was _fantastic."_ They looked at each other, listening to each other's breathing slow, touching each other's face. "That was wonderful, Spencer. That was... so much better than I ever thought it could be."

"Really? It was? Oh, thank God." Spencer lay back, relief in his voice. "I sort of... lost my train of thought there, for a while. I was afraid I wasn't paying attention or something."

"You were perfect." Amber lay her head on Spencer's chest, and he hugged her close. "We'll do this again, you know."

Spencer laughed. "I hope so. I... could definitely get used to it."

"So, you liked it, too, I gather?" Amber had a mischievous look in her eye.

Spencer's smile was gentle, yet completely serious. "It was the second best thing that ever happened to me."

"Oh? And, what was the first?"

"Meeting you."

The teasing look left Amber's eyes, and a sudden rush of emotion filled her heart. "Oh," she said softly. She reached for a kiss, and Spencer engulfed her in a tight embrace. They settled into each other's arms and were soon sound asleep.


End file.
